Like A George Michael Song

I don't do well at faith. The idea that things can just work themselves out with much more than a belief that they can. I am a believer in doing for myself, taking care of my own business and being responsible for my own destiny.

But sometimes that gets hard.

I wish that i could just be a person who could trust in things. I imagine that it would be easier to just take things as they go, to not worry or plan as much as I do. I wish I could be that kind of person who just "knows" things can work out if I stop trying to over examine them. I don't know how to do this.

Maybe it is because of how I grew up, because of all the things that went the wrong way even though I did nothing to cause that to happen. I wish that I could just write those experiences off. But on the flip side; i know that I am capable of so much when i apply myself. There are things that i have done that most people wouldn't or couldn't. I have made difficult choices but ones that have worked out for me. I know my limits but I know how to stretch them--I am capable of almost evrything I set my mind on.

and this is all through me. Yes there are been times when people or circumstances helped to make things happen but even then I still took the first step. I don't sit around on my hands, hope and wish for things or just try to wait them out. I am proactive and even when it goes wrong--it goes wrong on my own terms. There is something to be said for that.

But sometimes when things get rough or I am unsure what to do--I wish i could just hold out and believe they will work out naturally. But only sometimes.