Hot Mess

Everyone that I know at some point has been a hot mess. Maybe they were dumped and took up competitive eating, per chance they were tired of dating and took up a hobby of one night stands, sometimes they send a little too much time at the bar or with the bottle; life happens.

And there is nothing wrong with this, this need to act out, spiral off and lose control, try to drop out of life for a while but there is a point when enough is enough. It's when you burst a blood vessel from too much drink or when you can't remember all of the people you've spent with in a month or maybe it is after you gain that first ten pounds and have to see your ex at a holiday party but there is always a point when it is time to stop and get yourself together.

But some people don't know how to do this. They get thrown out of parties or end up at the free clinic, maybe they wake up in the ER after having they stomach pumped or when they can't fit into their 'fat jeans' and everyone else in their life knows that something has to to change. But they don't know how to speak up or want to be the person to have that 'talk'.

It makes one question the bond of friendship when this happens. Part of being in someone's life in a meaningful way means have to risk the relationship to talk about real things. To ask what is really going on, to point when things have gone too far, to stop allowing excuses and justifications to override common sense.

And if you are not capable of having this type of conversation then maybe it is time to question the reality of the friendship. If you don't care enough to help someone when they are hurting then maybe you don't care enough. Being a friend is not all cocktails and secrets, photographs and parties. Sometimes it is about being the one person who can chance rejection to make a difference.

Hopefully you and I have people in our lives who can do that.