Tomorrow is Back To School Day

So I go back to work tomorrow. It's been awhile since I could say that and while I know I need to do this for multiple reasons... I still don't want. It's not because unemployment has been a hot bed of excitement but because I just feel like I am settling.

And I hate that. I feel like I am doing this job because it is there, for no other reason than I have to. I know how spoiled that sounds, how flippant in this current environment but it is how I feel. I have been so blessed to be able to pick and choose my work situtations and to be excited, challenged and proud of what I am doing. But I don't feel this way about tomorrow.

I just have to repeat the same thing in my head again and again. A magical little number that will help me get through the next few months. I know it will be worth it in the end and yet the end is so far away.

I mean-technically I haven't even had the begining.