Happiness

So the other day I realized that most of my posts have been negative. And when they are semi-bitchy, they're not really forthcoming in any major way. And then Lucy wrote this blog entry about being happy and how that makes it hard to write. It's true.

Somehow being happy means lack of conflict, the end of the struggle, the smooth sailing in whatever narrative you invested in--tv, novel, blog. But I also think that most people don't like to write about being content or hapy because it feels like bragging or showing off. That talking about happiness is akin to rubbing someone else's face in their own unhappiness, their own strife or lack of joy. Which is bullshit.

I'd like to believe that if I write about all the ways I am happy that the people who inest themselves in knowing me from here would be happy for me. That my truimphs and joys are about me being better for any other reason then that's my current reality. With that in mind, I decided to make a list of all the happy things of late.

1) Saturdays and Sundays. With my job at BB, I tend to fall of the face of the Earth. The show shoots 24/7 and part of my job is to be there and cover what happens from top to bottom. So for a few months I suddenly am AWOL socially and it is needed and a good thing--it also sucks. But this season I managed to secure the weekends as my two days off. This means I can go to the beach, the mall, to dinners and BBQ, to drinks with friends and spend nights with the boy. It's a good thing.

2) Naomi. My friend Naomi moved to Las Vegas a few years back and she was recently here for the better part of ten days. It was nice to be lunch with her, to see a good film (Away We Go), to catch up with someone who is so seperate from my real life that I have no choice but to spend my time listening and gushing.

3) Heath and Ruby. It's been forever since I was able to spend any serious about of time with one of my favorite couples; between the baby on the way and three very hectic schedules I have been barely able to see boo to either one of them. Though it is scary as all get out to see the baby belly, it was nice to see two people so happy and on the verge of so much.

4) Apartments. Johnno finally moved from Mar Vista to a nice apartment down the way from me in North Hollywood. While it has been hard work between the moving, the shopping and the settling in...it is such a relief to know that he is only 8 minutes away rather than 45. I like knowing he is close enough that we can spend more time together--it makes me sleep better at night.

5) Chloe. Chloe is coming down from San Fran this weekend and staying at the Dollhouse for a weekend of mischief and catching up. I'm excited to have her here for sleepovers and Starlight Room shenanigans. It's been forever since it has been just us--even though I really wish Lucy could have come down with her.

6) Edie. It's been weird to realize that Edie has been here so much in the past year--for so long she has been off and running around the world working on films that i forget how much I value her in my life. Between late night dance parties and runaway trips to Tiffany's or just laying by the pool in Palmdale and catching up--it's been so great and will be hard when she leaves for filming in Detriot.

7) The Dollhouse. Yes, my apartment makes me happy. Between redecorating the bedroom, the living room and simple streamlining, I have found myself more nested and zen then I have been in awhile. And now that we are on the first year--almost--of Lola joining the household, I can say that everything here feels balanced from decor to roommates. I just feel so happy that it seems to work so well even when it's not perfect.

That all being said, I hope that everyone else out there reading this has their own list to be happy about. It should be easier than it seems but takes more time then you think.