The Stage is Swept and the Lights Are Off

As of 7am tomorrow morning it will be a week since I finished up with 'Big Brother 10'--though I honestly don't think my job has truly ended until the huge wrap party because it is networking with drinks and sexual antics--very 'Mad Men'/60's workplace. But now the gag reel is over and the house guests have all been returned to whatever rocks we found them under and it is time to get back to the swing of things.

I have spent the last few days on a breakneck vacation of sorts between coffee in the afternoon with friends, midnight shopping sprees with Edie, weekend nights spent in lofts with the best friends and other nights in the backyards with Pam Grier and Isaac Hayes among other mixed company. It has been good to see and do everything I have missed in the last 9 months--give or take a week here and there--to feel like I am connected within my own skin again.

But it is still odd to know I will not see most of my BB family for the next year or so--especially since 9 months is such a long time in the world we work in. As a freelancer, you tend to jump alot from show to show with weeks or maybe a month or two working then off to the next gig and while you make friends on most shows it is a very short term relationship in most cases. Like army buddies or homeroom classmates--good in the moment but not much outside of it.

So to be honest--it makes me a bit bummed out to not be with my BB family for the foreseeable future and that is much more than I expected to feel. Sad seems a bit too dramatic a way to describe it and yet few other words seem to fit. And I have been trying to get myself excited and into a new routine with things like an hour of yoga or changing the sheets over to winter layers or spending quiet time with candles and Buddha but at the end of the night it feels weird to not know when I'll see any of those people again.

I think I might be on the verge of being sentimental person.

It's time for bed.