50 Whores on Stage and None of Them Are Us.
So this past weekend I took to the road and hit up Palms Springs with some of the girls. (Kelly, Lizzie, Joy, Valeska, Sabine and Tanya.) Joy’s granddaddy has a house down by PS and so she thought it would be cool just to jaunt down for a weekend and see what kind of trouble we could get into. Valeska Kelly and I headed down after work on Friday—though I took a chance and skipped out early from work to get a quick haircut and pick up some pants I had altered at my tailor’s. (I love tailors because it’s like getting new pants for next to nothing.) So after a quick nap I met up with the girls and we took to the open road. There was gossip and traffic and music as well as plans made. It turns out that Metal Skool was performing at Margano Casino that night so we were going to see the best hair band tribute act ever.
That night at the show was pretty funny—due to the traffic we stopped at the casino before the house which led to Valeska Kelly and I all changing up our outfits like hookers at the casino. The plus side was that we got into the Key Club to see the opening act which was so young I think that we could have parented all of them. But they were cool and their friends were dorks and were all kicked out after the set since they weren’t over 21. Then Metal Skool prepped to take the stage as the other girls arrived.
The show itself was good but most of the girls hadn’t seen the band before so it was new to them. The sexy funny sleaziness of the band came through and was only heightened by the fact that every drunk, slutty, white trash girl (minus our group) appeared dancing on stage at sometime during the set. There was even a few topless one. Weird and funny until the end of the evening when one of us got punched—by accident—and we left the club deaf and defeated.
Soon we were having snacks and reading trashy magazines back at Joy’s house after a bit of scariness at the gate. It seems we were posing as Karen—Joy’s mother—and the security guy was quite confused. But we made our way through the track houses that LOOKED ALL THE SAME and into the fabulous house. (Think the set of ‘Golden Girls’ with bamboo looking furniture, religious plates and glass statues.) Tanya and I explored the house with her camera, documenting the clown art, the doggy art and the misplaced Asian screens. I felt like I was Rhoda without the head scarf.
The next day was spent poolside with the cast of ‘Cocoon’ and two pools with shade for Sabine. It was quite nice, quiet and relaxing—I even made time to swing on the playground which was designed for the grandchildren of the community. Good times if not good pictures. We then made yummy burgers—rather Sabine made the burgers—snacked and listened to music before taking showers and naps. We then headed in for a nice dinner in town with Mexican food where I found out that we were celebrating my birthday with flan. (Fuck you Joy!!!) Then we hit the local pub where Lizzie filmed the various hot, scary, slutty locals as a bad cover band played inside. Good times.
Then we headed home where I proceeded to do some grilling—not burgers—grilling for gossip. I learned a lot about everyone and I hope they learned a little more about me. There was much debate about Anna Nicole’s baby daddy, Brittney’s rehab and Jennifer Hudson’s ugly ass dress as well as Tanya and I doing some minor redecorating.
It was a late night that was topped off with me trying to scare the crap out of Lizzie with some clown art as Tanya tried not to laugh. We almost stole Joy’s at mitzvah video, tried on granddad’s hats and even posed for pictures in the whirlpool tub. Bed came way to soon—even with the lost hour.
Sunday started with just me, Valeska, Kelly and Joy heading out early afternoon since the others took off earlier in the morning. We hot the outlets and shopped and bought shoes (all of us) and accessories and worked our way through 150 some odd stores. It was good times and we still got home rather quickly. It was good times.
Random Quotes
‘Can’t sleep, clowns will get me.’
‘Night Suze. Night Bob.’
‘Well, he’s an intimidating crowd of people.’
‘It’s so ‘Golden Girls’ I want some shoulder pads and cheesecake.’
‘Hey grampy. Your neighbor Ken says hi. Is his wife’s name really Barbie?’
‘Jane is for smart girls or is it old girls?’
'Karen’s my mother’s name. So you’re now my mother.’
‘That little boy is going to be asking his mom what dirty hot is.’
‘Oh man—the golf cart is broken.’
‘Oh look—this week it’s Metal Skool—next week is Inxs—you would think they would have airbrushed that photo.’
‘I’m just doing my best Oprah.’
‘Happy birthday Rory.’
1 comment:
haha
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