Fighter?
I'm not a very good fighter--that's not to say I'm not ambitious but I'm not very in your face or willing to ride someone for what I want. I figure that good work shows and good word of mouth is important and people who try too hard get annoying and left behind. I'm not a self promotion machine.
What's this all about? BB. See, I have been in a hold position with them for the last few weeks and I have no idea what is going on or what to do. I've sent e-mails to the right people and have spoken multiple times with several key people in the proccess but can't seem to get a straight answer. I mean I know what I want.
Story--thats it. I would like to be AT LEAST seriously considered for story with the show--to have the interview and meet with the right people and all that but I haven't heard ANYTHING at all about me coming back to the show in any capicty.
I know that certain other people--Lola, Shannon, Sofie, Cheryl and Shelly have all been contacted about their returns and offered jobs and yet...nothing. And I'm at a loss as what to do. I mean--there are more people I could call and more buttons to push but I don't want to be that guy running behind them and yapping like a dog to get attention.
I'd rather just be told where I stand in the grand scheme of things so I can make my next move--whatever that is. I just feel like so many people--not just my friends--are behind me making this move up and seem to believe that I can do it so why can't I just get a call back? It's really starting to bother me and even more--it's starting to hurt my feelings.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
They Come and Go—They Come and Go
I’m not a huge believer in the idea of tit for tat or instant repercussions or even karma. I think that when things happen you just have to work through them. Assigning them some cosmic importance seems more an excuse than anything else. I normally don’t give these things much thought but…
Okay—so last week I did something bad. (Maybe it was two weeks ago…) I knew when I did it that I fucked up but it was too late for me to stop anything and so I decided that I would just have to ride it out. I would say that I was more embarrassed than angry with myself because the ball was already in play and anything I would have done would have made it worse.
Later on, when I went out with my friend Charity, I couldn’t stop beating myself up. I mean—there is a certain point at which you have to let things go in order to move on but still... It was stuck in my head. And I tried to figure out what should have happened in the aftermath but there wasn’t anything.
And as I walked to the bank--while Charity waited in the Pier—I realized that maybe there was no real fall out. That I was just hoping for one in order to beat myself up and just be done with the whole thing. “Just punish me so I can move on”. But if there is no punishment then maybe there is no real consequence. That I was not doing anything good by suffering for my sins.
Happy with myself, I walked back to the store and stared in the window as I finished my cigarette. For a moment I thought I saw two ghosts out of my past—Vera and Laura—two girls that I had worked with at the Pier and had backstabbed me when I broke up with Enrique years ago. Of course it wasn’t possible since we had all moved on and Vera had moved out of state.
Imagine my shock when I entered the store and realized Charity was indeed chatting with them—plain as day and like nothing ever happened. I covered up my horror (as best I could) as the three of them noticed me. The hardest thing about the situation with Vera and Laura was that I had thought they were my friends but when I broke with Enrique they had both taken his side. Not only that, they had spread rumors about the breakup and driven me so crazy that I quit Pier One and never looked back.
So to see them, after years, just standing there and making small talk in the middle of our old stomping grounds was extremely surreal. I wondered what had brought this upon me and as I thought back I realized that I had MINUTES before thought there was never a repercussion for the things we do.
Needless to say—after one of the most awkward and painful half-hours ever—I have started to rethink my karma policy. I think maybe Boy George it right—it does come and go.
I’m not a huge believer in the idea of tit for tat or instant repercussions or even karma. I think that when things happen you just have to work through them. Assigning them some cosmic importance seems more an excuse than anything else. I normally don’t give these things much thought but…
Okay—so last week I did something bad. (Maybe it was two weeks ago…) I knew when I did it that I fucked up but it was too late for me to stop anything and so I decided that I would just have to ride it out. I would say that I was more embarrassed than angry with myself because the ball was already in play and anything I would have done would have made it worse.
Later on, when I went out with my friend Charity, I couldn’t stop beating myself up. I mean—there is a certain point at which you have to let things go in order to move on but still... It was stuck in my head. And I tried to figure out what should have happened in the aftermath but there wasn’t anything.
And as I walked to the bank--while Charity waited in the Pier—I realized that maybe there was no real fall out. That I was just hoping for one in order to beat myself up and just be done with the whole thing. “Just punish me so I can move on”. But if there is no punishment then maybe there is no real consequence. That I was not doing anything good by suffering for my sins.
Happy with myself, I walked back to the store and stared in the window as I finished my cigarette. For a moment I thought I saw two ghosts out of my past—Vera and Laura—two girls that I had worked with at the Pier and had backstabbed me when I broke up with Enrique years ago. Of course it wasn’t possible since we had all moved on and Vera had moved out of state.
Imagine my shock when I entered the store and realized Charity was indeed chatting with them—plain as day and like nothing ever happened. I covered up my horror (as best I could) as the three of them noticed me. The hardest thing about the situation with Vera and Laura was that I had thought they were my friends but when I broke with Enrique they had both taken his side. Not only that, they had spread rumors about the breakup and driven me so crazy that I quit Pier One and never looked back.
So to see them, after years, just standing there and making small talk in the middle of our old stomping grounds was extremely surreal. I wondered what had brought this upon me and as I thought back I realized that I had MINUTES before thought there was never a repercussion for the things we do.
Needless to say—after one of the most awkward and painful half-hours ever—I have started to rethink my karma policy. I think maybe Boy George it right—it does come and go.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Good Friday Indeed
You know its a good Friday when...
Its the last day of work at a job you are pretty much over. It helps that the head boss is away so people can take long lunch breaks or leave early for 'religious' reasons.
Its a better Friday when you leave work for lunch with your boyfriend and instead spend most of the hour and a half away having great sex. It's even better to go to work with the 'sex smile'.
It the best friday when you get to have dinner with a friend you haven't seen in awhile and will have plenty of time to catch up with.
You know its a good Friday when...
Its the last day of work at a job you are pretty much over. It helps that the head boss is away so people can take long lunch breaks or leave early for 'religious' reasons.
Its a better Friday when you leave work for lunch with your boyfriend and instead spend most of the hour and a half away having great sex. It's even better to go to work with the 'sex smile'.
It the best friday when you get to have dinner with a friend you haven't seen in awhile and will have plenty of time to catch up with.
Bitchiness; It’s More of A Calling Then A Hobby.
So I was a total bitch this past weekend—it’s part of the reason that I have not blogged at all this week. I have been busy processing what went done and making peace with myself before committing words and thought to paper.
It started with an odd Friday night—forced to stay at work late due to my boss being insane and my other boss leaving. We had a going away part right before the end of the night; which was fun and great until my boss put on a newly finished episode and made us all stay late to watch it. This is not cool when we were all done and just wanted to go. And it wasn’t to suggest changes but to bask in ‘how good’ it was. Seriously.
So after getting home MUCH later then I wanted I sat around and did nothing. Most everyone was going out to an event that I had no interest in and the boy was with his number girl and so I sat at home and just watched “Doctor Who”. Geek extreme. So I was tired and went to bed kind of cranky though with the boy.
Saturday was hectic or at least it was supposed to be. I had a list of few things I needed to do—like a hair cut and get some taxes from my friend Charity and just odds and ends. I got sidetracked because I want to check my e-mail for some information. This was a HUGE mistake considering I got a HUGE virus.
This might not be a big deal to some but I have my new computer, which I was still in the process of transferring files to. I have been very picky and just taking my time with what I put on there and relabeling things and just getting a clean, well set up machine. So I had not backed it up yet AT ALL and so this virus basically put me at risk to use everything I have. Part of this was my own fault for deleting things off the old computer and thinking that I wouldn’t need old disks.
Things grew worse because the more I did to find out how to fix it the more I realized that I would have to DUMP my entire hard drive and start over. This meant that I ran the risk of losing ALL my writing—I mean everything I had from 12 onward. Three plays, two novels, four scripts, countless short stories and every column I have had. And I FREAKED OUT. (This doesn’t even include all my music and photos that were in danger of being lost.)
Needless to say I was upset. After realizing there was little I could do I hustled out the door to meet up with Charity at the Pier to get the taxes. She had sent me an e-mail saying that she would be there from 10 till 2 and since the computer sidetracked me, I was cutting it really close.
So I busted ass to get to the Pier and there was no sign of her. I waited around for about an hour—steaming mad about it—and was about to leave when I noticed her car in the parking. Where she was sleeping. Turns out that she inverted the times and was working from 2 till ten. Annoyed I took my taxes—stopped to get some cash—and set out to get my haircut.
And I forgot that it was the Saturday afternoon the weekend before Easter. So I couldn’t get a hair cut ANYWHERE since everyone was booked. And I almost burst into tears on Ventura. (Yeah—gay and girly. What the fuck ever.) Needless to say that day pretty much killed me.
I topped said weekend with some shopping with Lola; which actually helped me get calm. At least until that night when I refreaked out about the computer--took out my anger in some unhealthy ways--ending with me arguing with the boy and him leaving at 2 in the morning.
Adding to the fun was the realization that my job was ending and I had no real prospects for work yet and with the computer out of commission I would have a hard time getting things done like resumes and e-mails. And then the money issue hit home when I realized that I still had to book a room in Vegas for Kelly’s birthday. I went full on panic.
After some days alone—as well as a night of full craziness--I have since calmed down. I have managed to figure out a way to save the files if not the computer, apologized to the boy, and just been thinking things through more.
I also realized that being this upset was doing nothing for me. Several different people were huge helps in this, by either letting me take my train to Crazytown, giving good suggestions or giving hugs. I have since come to realize that being a bitch is not much fun and doesn’t do well as a long-term plan.
It's really just not me.
So I was a total bitch this past weekend—it’s part of the reason that I have not blogged at all this week. I have been busy processing what went done and making peace with myself before committing words and thought to paper.
It started with an odd Friday night—forced to stay at work late due to my boss being insane and my other boss leaving. We had a going away part right before the end of the night; which was fun and great until my boss put on a newly finished episode and made us all stay late to watch it. This is not cool when we were all done and just wanted to go. And it wasn’t to suggest changes but to bask in ‘how good’ it was. Seriously.
So after getting home MUCH later then I wanted I sat around and did nothing. Most everyone was going out to an event that I had no interest in and the boy was with his number girl and so I sat at home and just watched “Doctor Who”. Geek extreme. So I was tired and went to bed kind of cranky though with the boy.
Saturday was hectic or at least it was supposed to be. I had a list of few things I needed to do—like a hair cut and get some taxes from my friend Charity and just odds and ends. I got sidetracked because I want to check my e-mail for some information. This was a HUGE mistake considering I got a HUGE virus.
This might not be a big deal to some but I have my new computer, which I was still in the process of transferring files to. I have been very picky and just taking my time with what I put on there and relabeling things and just getting a clean, well set up machine. So I had not backed it up yet AT ALL and so this virus basically put me at risk to use everything I have. Part of this was my own fault for deleting things off the old computer and thinking that I wouldn’t need old disks.
Things grew worse because the more I did to find out how to fix it the more I realized that I would have to DUMP my entire hard drive and start over. This meant that I ran the risk of losing ALL my writing—I mean everything I had from 12 onward. Three plays, two novels, four scripts, countless short stories and every column I have had. And I FREAKED OUT. (This doesn’t even include all my music and photos that were in danger of being lost.)
Needless to say I was upset. After realizing there was little I could do I hustled out the door to meet up with Charity at the Pier to get the taxes. She had sent me an e-mail saying that she would be there from 10 till 2 and since the computer sidetracked me, I was cutting it really close.
So I busted ass to get to the Pier and there was no sign of her. I waited around for about an hour—steaming mad about it—and was about to leave when I noticed her car in the parking. Where she was sleeping. Turns out that she inverted the times and was working from 2 till ten. Annoyed I took my taxes—stopped to get some cash—and set out to get my haircut.
And I forgot that it was the Saturday afternoon the weekend before Easter. So I couldn’t get a hair cut ANYWHERE since everyone was booked. And I almost burst into tears on Ventura. (Yeah—gay and girly. What the fuck ever.) Needless to say that day pretty much killed me.
I topped said weekend with some shopping with Lola; which actually helped me get calm. At least until that night when I refreaked out about the computer--took out my anger in some unhealthy ways--ending with me arguing with the boy and him leaving at 2 in the morning.
Adding to the fun was the realization that my job was ending and I had no real prospects for work yet and with the computer out of commission I would have a hard time getting things done like resumes and e-mails. And then the money issue hit home when I realized that I still had to book a room in Vegas for Kelly’s birthday. I went full on panic.
After some days alone—as well as a night of full craziness--I have since calmed down. I have managed to figure out a way to save the files if not the computer, apologized to the boy, and just been thinking things through more.
I also realized that being this upset was doing nothing for me. Several different people were huge helps in this, by either letting me take my train to Crazytown, giving good suggestions or giving hugs. I have since come to realize that being a bitch is not much fun and doesn’t do well as a long-term plan.
It's really just not me.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Sadness
By DAISY NGUYEN, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 14 minutes ago
LOS ANGELES - June Pointer, the youngest of the singing Pointer Sisters known for the 1970s and 1980s hits "I'm So Excited," "Fire," and "Slow Hand," has died, her family said Wednesday. She was 52.
ADVERTISEMENT
Pointer died of cancer Tuesday at Santa Monica University of California, Los Angeles, Medical Center, the family said in a statement. She had been hospitalized since late February and the type of cancer wasn't disclosed.
She died "in the arms of her sisters, Ruth and Anita and her brothers, Aaron and Fritz, by her side," the family statement read. "Although her sister, Bonnie, was unable to be present, she was with her in spirit."
The Pointer Sisters began as a quartet in the early 1970s with sisters Ruth, Anita, Bonnie and June. The group became a trio when Bonnie embarked on a solo career.
The group's hits also included "He's So Shy," "Automatic" and "Jump (For My Love)."
The sisters, along with their two older brothers, grew up singing in the choir of an Oakland church where their parents were ministers.
Bonnie and June formed a singing duo and began performing in clubs around the San Francisco Bay area. Anita and Ruth later joined the group and together, they sang backup for Taj Mahal,
Boz Scaggs and Elvin Bishop, among others.
Their first, self-titled album, "The Pointer Sisters," debuted in 1973 and the song "Yes We Can Can" became their first hit. They followed up with the album "That's A Plenty," which featured an eclectic mix of musical styles ranging from jazz to country and pop. They won the first of their three Grammy awards in 1974 for best country vocal performance by a group for the song "Fairytale."
Bonnie left the group in 1977, and the sisters recorded several more albums, scoring several hit songs that became identified as the soundtrack of the 1980s.
The successful 1984 album "Break Out" earned two Grammy awards for the songs "Automatic" and "Jump (For My Love)." The album's other hit song, "Neutron Dance," was prominently featured in the movie "Beverly Hills Cop."
June recorded two solo albums, and later left the trio.
Anita and Ruth still perform under the group's name. Ruth's daughter, Issa Pointer, is the trio's newest member.
Two years ago, June Pointer was charged with felony cocaine possession and misdemeanor possession of a smoking device. She was ordered to a rehabilitation facility.
Funeral arrangements were incomplete
By DAISY NGUYEN, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 14 minutes ago
LOS ANGELES - June Pointer, the youngest of the singing Pointer Sisters known for the 1970s and 1980s hits "I'm So Excited," "Fire," and "Slow Hand," has died, her family said Wednesday. She was 52.
ADVERTISEMENT
Pointer died of cancer Tuesday at Santa Monica University of California, Los Angeles, Medical Center, the family said in a statement. She had been hospitalized since late February and the type of cancer wasn't disclosed.
She died "in the arms of her sisters, Ruth and Anita and her brothers, Aaron and Fritz, by her side," the family statement read. "Although her sister, Bonnie, was unable to be present, she was with her in spirit."
The Pointer Sisters began as a quartet in the early 1970s with sisters Ruth, Anita, Bonnie and June. The group became a trio when Bonnie embarked on a solo career.
The group's hits also included "He's So Shy," "Automatic" and "Jump (For My Love)."
The sisters, along with their two older brothers, grew up singing in the choir of an Oakland church where their parents were ministers.
Bonnie and June formed a singing duo and began performing in clubs around the San Francisco Bay area. Anita and Ruth later joined the group and together, they sang backup for Taj Mahal,
Boz Scaggs and Elvin Bishop, among others.
Their first, self-titled album, "The Pointer Sisters," debuted in 1973 and the song "Yes We Can Can" became their first hit. They followed up with the album "That's A Plenty," which featured an eclectic mix of musical styles ranging from jazz to country and pop. They won the first of their three Grammy awards in 1974 for best country vocal performance by a group for the song "Fairytale."
Bonnie left the group in 1977, and the sisters recorded several more albums, scoring several hit songs that became identified as the soundtrack of the 1980s.
The successful 1984 album "Break Out" earned two Grammy awards for the songs "Automatic" and "Jump (For My Love)." The album's other hit song, "Neutron Dance," was prominently featured in the movie "Beverly Hills Cop."
June recorded two solo albums, and later left the trio.
Anita and Ruth still perform under the group's name. Ruth's daughter, Issa Pointer, is the trio's newest member.
Two years ago, June Pointer was charged with felony cocaine possession and misdemeanor possession of a smoking device. She was ordered to a rehabilitation facility.
Funeral arrangements were incomplete
Sadness
By DAISY NGUYEN, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 14 minutes ago
By DAISY NGUYEN, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 14 minutes ago
LOS ANGELES - June Pointer, the youngest of the singing Pointer Sisters known for the 1970s and 1980s hits "I'm So Excited," "Fire," and "Slow Hand," has died, her family said Wednesday. She was 52.
Pointer died of cancer Tuesday at Santa Monica University of California, Los Angeles, Medical Center, the family said in a statement. She had been hospitalized since late February and the type of cancer wasn't disclosed.
She died "in the arms of her sisters, Ruth and Anita and her brothers, Aaron and Fritz, by her side," the family statement read. "Although her sister, Bonnie, was unable to be present, she was with her in spirit."
The Pointer Sisters began as a quartet in the early 1970s with sisters Ruth, Anita, Bonnie and June. The group became a trio when Bonnie embarked on a solo career.
The group's hits also included "He's So Shy," "Automatic" and "Jump (For My Love)."