Happy New Year? Same old, same old....

So NY was more crazed than I thought and was given details the day after... It's nice to know that the more things change... And continuing that thought.... Skylar had dinner at his place the night of the 1st... I wasn't invited which is okay with me but it is akward because everyone who figured out that I wasn't coming kept saying that I was invited--that there was some mix up. Bt they were also given dishes to bring and I wasn't so... I wasn't planned to come. So I didn't though I showed up later at his place... And I had fun and enjoyed myself though I felt that certain people were pissed that I had stayed away.... If I have learned one thing from childhood is that it is NEVER worth going somewhere that you weren't invited too... You'll just feel uncomfortable and then upset on some level.

The thing that most anoyned me was that after the dinner party, as we were all leaving... There was discussion on what to do friday night... And people promised to call and let me know that was up. Now, I know this is stupid but I do feel a lot of the time that I go chasing after people to be included in things. This isn't all the times or stuff... I just feel that I often fall the cracks with my friends--things happen a lot that I am not included in. And that's okay...

The thing that I have a problem with is that, I don't have a really close friend out here... Lizzie has Kelly, Willis has his own things, Ruby has Heath and Candice....Eddie has her man... I have never had a truly close, stand alone friendship in this group with the exception of Irene... That is way things with the two of us went as long as they did--even with the problems. I was always the first person she told stuff to, the person that she called everyday, the person who let me vent and was just always there for me...

I guess how these two things tie together is... When the group doesn't call (or return my calls) I am left alone and I don't have someone to turn to... No one person that I can count on--as friend where I am important... I guess it's childish but... It is how I feel... This isn't to say that I don't love my friends but I also know where I fit... It's not bad, could just be better.....