Thursday Truths

Why Yes--That Is Me

There's been a lot of talk recently about nude selfies become some type of target for hackers--whether it is celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, politicians like Anthony Weiner (huh) and athletes like George Burgess--the question has come who is to blame? There are some who blame these victims for taking the pictures in the first place--it's similar to the argument of "you dressed like you wanted the attention". For others, the feeling is that these type of incidents can be like crimes--if the pictures were taken from someone's personal account instead of randomly texted out to people then it is akin to stealing.

I cannot wait for "Law & Order: Nude Selfies Theft Unit.

If you ask me--I don't get what the public outcry is all about. I know a lot of people who have taken nude pictures--maybe not full body shots or in explicit XXX poses--but it's something that has become much more common in this day of camera phones, app dating and general open door sexuality. If anything, I think we should come to expect that everyone has a nude picture somewhere.



In full disclosure I have more than a handful of nude pictures out there, some taken when I was single for all the dating apps and matching making websites, some from flirty texts with the husband and at least one or two bad ideas. I used to get worked up and concerned about who would see these pictures but after one or two incidents I had to learn the big lesson--which is one you put anything out in the ether that is the internet you have to learn to let it go. To realize that anything you allow out of your own personal devices whether phone or computer and on to anything web based whether it is OK Cupid, the iCloud, Facebook or even IMDB will pretty much always be there--so you have to learn to shrug and own it.

That said--it's not always easy. The first time I was told about someone stumbling across my nudes I didn't take it well. it was from someone who I didn't expect and was told to me in a public place one on one. I was mortified beyond belief and took it pretty hard especially becomes this wasnt even a person I knew very well.

Oh Look--it's a closet and a case--for CDs.

It didn't even occur to me until later to question why this person had seen my photos--and like in most cases--the only way you will usually see something like that is if you were looking for nudes for your own personal reasons. This means you were probably in some uncomfortable position yourself Mr. Shame Game.

Um--no desert for me

I have since come to see the nude selfie as something actually quite empowering--you take and keep those pictures because you find yourself in that moment attractive enough to deserve to be captured and shared. There is something very pro-body image, pro-sexuality and pro-self that comes into play in the scenario that I think is great. And when it comes to sending those pictures to someone you are involved with--if only for the night--it also signals a sense of trust in the relationship that is great even if it is some times misplaced. We live in a culture that either overly champions sex as a game or overly shames people when it comes to sexuality--I think as we grow as a society and it becomes more common to be more open on the net it will led to more ownership of self.

Unless you have your pictures stolen from your device then fuck off thieves.