This Should Feel Familiar

I'm watching Johnno through window from the park behind our building. Today has been one of the worst in my life in a long time--but this should feel familiar....

There's a reason I'm a fatalist.

Every time I think I have something good in my life it falls apart. I should be used to disappointment and yet here I am again--acting like it is some novel feeling

No we didn't break up.

Johnno lost his job today. I found out that my brother is in jail & will probably serve time. I'm pretty sure the wedding is off since there is no way to afford it given the current situation.

And I don't think we're strong enough to do this again.... So unless some drastic happens then this it it. I'm just tired of mourning. I know I'll be fine sooner than later--I'm a survivor but I'm just tired

And nothing is decided yet but I just cannot see pulling this off... The upside is I'm too depressed to eat so there's that at least