Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Being An Adult

Means you cannot have things like this anymore.



It comes in a lunch bag--seen here--but also a backpack in kids' size. All kinds of animals and they are equally awesome. I kind of wish Lucy had not exposed me to this.

I mean I just so badly want one but somehow think I would like a bit too old for it. Even though I wear backpacks and old Hot Topic t-shirts to work everyday--I work it would get Chris Hanson on my ass.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Wait--What?!

I have many a time--both in person and on the nets--talked about my unending love for Christopher Pike as a young adult writer. I have even come to find that when you are with people of the right age group--they can remember the names and plots of most all of his books.

The ones that really get people talking is the Final Friends series...his tribute to murder, sex, mystery and high school. Johnno's friend Andrea and I bonded over this series the first or second time we met, Lola and I have had many a spirited conversation as we rehashed the characters and plot and even friends as far away as Europe knew the story as well as I.

So I was stoked when I heard it was being released this year. But not so stoked about this part of the deal....



They have renamed the series.

I'm sure this is some logical reason behind this... a tricky marketing ploy so people won't search on line for the plot on wikipedia.... Maybe an attempt to try and lure in new readers.... Something that can later be spun into a CW/ABC Family show.... I don't know.

I just don't like it. It makes the series seem more melodramatic than it was--with Twilight-ish cover art. Just a very disappointing choice. I know I should be happy it is being reissued at all.

And yet
The Book Project

I'm getting to slightly over midpoint of the book project. i promised myself I would read sixty books this year and while it has been going well--I have been a bit derailed. I think part of the problem is book selection.

When Johnno's store--aka Borders--closed down we made a huge list of authors to buy that we either didn't own or had owned in the past but had no current copies. For me that meant by a lot of F Scott Fitzgerald and Truman Capote... Which is good and all but...

I cannot keep flipping between those two authors--it is rather depressing.

I think that is why I have slowed down on my book consumption--it's hard when it begins to feel like it is just more boiled veggies.... Not that I don't love both those authors to death but I couldn't even do this time of reading with only Christopher Pike books

Which is saying a lot.
Crabby Pants Lapointestein

Trying not to be crabby. Trying really hard but it is not working out yet. I have been on edge partially about work, weight, time, effort and a million other things. I'm making better choices hopefully but it still does not take away my desire to cut a motherfucker's head off every so often.

I need to chill

Or drink at work

Possibly both

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Design Whore

I'm thinking it might be time for something new in the master suite of the Dollhouse. I tend to like to switch it up every so often but I wonder if this would be too dramatic.



It's very Mad Men meets Valley of the Dolls which is how I roll. But maybe it is too much of a good thing. I wouldn't do the pink. I think.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Life You Save May Be Your Own

I went away this weekend. Not the most earth shattering experience for most people but this is not something I usually do. I don't normal take vacations but without Bb to eat up my summer I was able to finally take some time for myself.

Edie and her brother have a party every summer in their family cabin in one of those "fly over" states. It's been going on for almost ten years and while I have had an invite I have never gone. Johnno decided for my birthday to give me free plane tickets he had earned and I managed to make them work out so i could head out to the party this summer along with a handful of other LA virgins.

It was the right call to make.

Now while I cannot talk about what went down--one of the rules of the party--I was able to actually try and relax. there was boathouse dancing, shots out of skis, meeting infamous friends and some light nudity. It was odd to be out in the middle of nowhere on a river with nothing to do but wear a bathing suit, drink up and hangout.

I'm glad i did it.

And while I wasn't able to fully shake my social issues--I spent time kind of being aloof which is par for the course--I was able to actual relax. i didn't realize how much so until I was flying back to LA. There was this moment waiting for my flight when I suddenly realized exactly how LA people are--and how I have become so immune to it.

I usually don't ever feel the LA shame--that realization of how shallow and demanding LA people usually are. It is always so "do you know who I am? I'm important and matter" that is so unappealing and badly mannered. But I saw it and it effected me in ways I have never seen.

As I stared out the window of the plane, I suddenly felt how much stress I really care. I have become so much about my career, my appearance, the go-go-go of life that I forget to relax. I mused about what this means and how I can try and take what I learned and turn it into something more positive. It became about focusing on my friends more than the gossip, about working on things that matter more than working on the career, on focus on what can take the stress away and what really has meaning to me.

It was eye opening.

And I am still processing this. If you had told me how much this weekend would change my internal settings I would have laughed at you. But for the first time in a long time I became focused on Rory--not the "Rory". It has to mean something when I had a practical panic attack on the plane ride home--it was a sign of something to be done.

And this doesn't mean I hate LA or regret the choices I have made. Being so on the move has given me things I love; a career i am proud of, great friends with an amazing social life, goals when it comes to my body and the life style I want to lead. But now I know it needs balance.

Who would have thought that a few days in just a bathing suit and bad hair would cause such a thought provoking change of heart? Not me.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Indiana Rory and the Tunnel of Love

I almost escpaed. I had my hand on the door handle when it went off the rails.

Now beofre I begin this post let me be clear on the following--I do like Johnno's parents. It's just that they are so hit or miss when it comes to me and their son. Sometimes they are friendly and the conversation flows easily but other times there is a disconnect. Like faulty wiring.

Last weekend they came to town for their annual visit. His dad has old college friends Sam and Abby who live down the way and so they make a yearly trip to catch up. I knew that this was upcoming and without BB as an excuse to miss out--i was down for at least one dinner.

But neither of us had seen his parents post the engagement and while they were supposedly supportive over the phone--I would be foolish to not expect something else in the flesh. And in the week before the visit we had finally found and were wearing engagement rings. I had tracked something fun from Esty for us to pick from and they arrived shortly before the trip.

The dinner itself was fine. His mother was perky and excited to see me as well as her son. She made a point of having u tell Sam and Abby about the engagement--I was worried that they would be very over the top in their response since they are both pro-gay marriage but they held themselves back.

We made it through the meal with little issue. Conversation jumped from sports to weather to career to family isssues. It was awkward at points but i figured that was just me--my family is very good at small talk about other things like films and TV where his is not. But we made it through the night and everyone passed with flying colors.

It wasn't until we headed for the door that anything went amiss. Johnno was saying good bye and I had already thanked both his father for his gift (a book about Jane Austen) and the hosts for the meal. My hand was on the door knob and about to exit when I heard the following phrase.

"What is that on your hand?"

Now I debate just pushing my way out of the house. I knew that Johnno's father had finally noticed the engagement ring but I also knew that it would be awkward. I listened as Johnno--in a cheerful voice as is his way--explained the ring and how he got it. Both his parents fell silent for a beat then his father encouraged us to leave. Not in a rude way but in a "you have to work the next day so go home now".

I could tell he was uncomfortable at the idea of his son wearing a ring with a stone in it. That all the ring meant was more proof of his gay son and his possible marriage to another man. I tried not to hold it against--I debated showing off my engagement ring as well but realized I don't want that fight.

Not an actual fight.

I am tired though of worrying about how his parents will handle us. They have had plenty of time to adjust to their gay son. It doesn't help matters that their daughter has had more than a couple of marriages and they constantly trip over themselves to pay for the event. I just wish they were excited and eager for us.

But they try and he tries and I try. Maybe one day it will be less about that.

At least I didn't push the door open and walk out. It's all about small steps really.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Swimming With Sharks AKA Its Only TV

I got screamed at by my boss today.

When I say screamed I don't mean yelled at. I don't mean a snotty exchange. I mean full on loud voice, probably red-faced, loud and scary.

It sucked.

Actually it more than sucked. If it hadn't happened over the phone and in person I probably would have quit my job and left the office ASAP. I don't like being spoken to that way--I don't think anyone does. And the few times in my life where that has happened I either cut the person completely out of my life or don't allow them into in the first place.

And what makes the situtation worse is that I wasn't responsible for what happened in the first place. I couldn't have prevented the issue and I did actually try and address the issue weeks back with my co-workers. And when I found out later that one of them was present when this happened and said nothing--it was even worse.

It made me second guess myself and the job. he accused me of being bad at it, not paying attention and none of that is true. Frankly--if I hadn't just extended the job I would have left if offered the extension now. I was disturbed enough to almost cry which I never do--just goes to show how bad this all was. But i'm not the type of person to walk away and go back on my word.

And the worst part is that I like my boss. He has been amazing at points--an executive who gives chances, is very flexible when it comes to the job and he leads a great team of people.

Now I am at a loss of what to do. I avoided him all day today, the few moments we ran into each other we didn't speak and tomorrow we have a major meeting of the whole staff. I don't play to do anything except just sit there and hope to be ignored. And that is not me.

But I cannot shake how horrible he made me feel today. I just can't.

It sucked.
Swimming With Sharks AKA Its Only TV

I got screamed at by my boss today.

When I say screamed I don't mean yelled at. I don't mean a snotty exchange. I mean full on loud voice, probably red-faced, loud and scary.

It sucked.

Actually it more than sucked. If it hadn't happened over the phone and in person I probably would have quit my job and left the office ASAP. I don't like being spoken to that way--I don't think anyone does. And the few times in my life where that has happened I either cut the person completely out of my life or don't allow them into in the first place.

And what makes the situtation worse is that I wasn't responsible for what happened in the first place. I couldn't have prevented the issue and I did actually try and address the issue weeks back with my co-workers. And when I found out later that one of them was present when this happened and said nothing--it was even worse.

It made me second guess myself and the job. he accused me of being bad at it, not paying attention and none of that is true. Frankly--if I hadn't just extended the job I would have left if offered the extension now. I was disturbed enough to almost cry which I never do--just goes to show how bad this all was. But i'm not the type of person to walk away and go back on my word.

And the worst part is that I like my boss. He has been amazing at points--an executive who gives chances, is very flexible when it comes to the job and he leads a great team of people.

Now I am at a loss of what to do. I avoided him all day today, the few moments we ran into each other we didn't speak and tomorrow we have a major meeting of the whole staff. I don't play to do anything except just sit there and hope to be ignored. And that is not me.

But I cannot shake how horrible he made me feel today. I just can't.

It sucked.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

I known it has been awhile but Joy said this today in response to planning my birthday


Good thing you are finally turning 21. All these birthday outings to Dave & Busters have been annoying me.
Today's Annoying Wedding Fact

According to tradition in some countries (derived from Roman belief), the wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger because the vein in the left ring finger, referred to as the vena amoris, was believed to be directly connected to the heart, a symbol of love.

I just always wondered why the left hand

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Dollhouse Does Not Allow Pets--Outside of Boyfriends

So we have bugs in the DH. We have had varitions of bugs in the DH off and on for a year or so. First we somehow got termites; nasty little bugs that were in the shower and then in my room. One actually crawled across my face while sleeping which led to me freaking out and getting real.

We had the place treated.

But of course this was a song and dance--miscommunication with the landlord about what we had to do, when to do it and how long we had to deal with this made me for the first time consider moving out of the DH. It didn't help that each time we had to deal with this led to me taking apart my room and made a very cranky Rory.

And then we got cockroaches.

Now this is something that has NEVER happened in the 13 years of the DH. It was gross and while Johnno and Lola both dealt with it--he had dealing with bugs in the past and Lola grew up in Costa Rica so was unphased--I finally had enough and demanded that we do something about it.

now the landlord--rightfully so--knew this was a novel thing so we tried traps and sprays and other easy remedies. But now we are at the point where nothing has worked and tomorrow they are coming to spray the kitchen and the bathrooms. I hopefully that this will be the end but every other time has been a pain so...

Fingers crossed that we will soon be back to our no pets policy
The Lazy River Awaits

So this time next week I will be in the middle of nowhere, drunkenly floating on a river and possibly sunburnt and mostly likely smelly. One of the perks of this summer--turning down BB--and the perks of my job--they can be so flexible--is that I am able to do things that normally I have had to turn down.

In this case it is travel.

Every summer Edie's brother Edward hosts a group of friends at the family cabin out in the middle of the woods. Edie herself goes when she is not working and the invite has always been extended to any of us LA friends who want to make the trip. This year Johnno decided that my birthday gift would be free tickets to anywhere I wanted to go in the states and while I tried to make certain other places work--San Fran--I just could not pass up on the chance to head to the Midwest.

It is funny that in all our years of friendship I have never been to see where Edie grew up. It's not that I couldn't or that she would turn me away but I just never felt that it was the right thing. But with Edward getting married next year and everything--it just worked out between my job and Johnno's gift to be the right time to make the trip.

It helps that Edie, Valeska, Kelly, Dominic and Isabella will all be making the same trip. It will be fun for the LA kids to be somewhere new and take part in the tradition. The only bummmer is that I am going with Johnno--I always feel sad when one of else gets to do amazing things without the other--but I know that we will both have fun regardless.

That being said--I have no idea what to pack. Between a lack of beds, possible plumbing and bathing in a river I will be all out of sorts. But I will get to met Chantal--Edie's Chicago friend, drink in the woods like a farmboy and possibly find a new tradition. I can do this
Alls Well That Ends Well

So my co-wroker is leaving his job at the end of the month. I had started to suspect as much--he and another co-worker of mine were rather unsubtly working on his resume and coverletters but I didn't read too much into it. Mostly because when I did I would get annoyed I was picking up his slack while he hunted for elsewhere.

Nonetheless--Hutch told me that he was leaving LA at the end of the month but would still be working on the show in New York. Happy endings for all... Of course this has led me and my co-worker Hektor to be a bit snarky about the whole thing. Its rare that I am flat out mean but it is novel to have a straight male worker who I get along so well. I like him.

And then Craig--my boss--finally came to me and asked me to stay on for the next cycle of the show. It is a relief to have my life planned out till at least Thanksgiving--if not longer--and allows me to be flexible with my time and my money. While I have liked almost every show I have worked on it is rare to feel so good about the money and the location and my co-workers. I find myself enjoying it immensely.

It doesn't mean that I don't miss BB. I miss hanging out with my friends there, the pace and craziness of the show, the whole summer camp vibe. But making this choice is the right one--I can have my social life, work on things with Johnno and get to do things that I like to do without the schedule of the summer hampering me. It feels nice.

I guess it has all worked out for the best.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

When Boredom Hits The Office

Last week my co-workers and I spent one whole day at work, bored out of our minds and talking about random and weird things. Somehow it came up about how soap operas are dying but would probably come back around as a reboot at some point like almost everything else. Discovering that we were all fans of different shows, we each picked one and wrote our own version of a reboot... Here is mine for "General Hospital."


I think for any reboot idea you have to get back to the bare bones of the show but keeping key characters and story points as a part of the new history. I would love to do a good General Hospital reboot with a focus on the original characters mixed with popular characters… I would have the hospital be the focus but also keep the adventure and mob aspects as part of the story as the show goes. (Mostly because whether we like it or not—they are part of the show’s history.) Take the best of each era and try and mix it all together.

I would obviously start out with a young 30s hunk named Steve Hardy—a compassionate and well liked general practitioner with a way for managing both his patients and the politics of hospital life. His best friend and fellow doctor is a young 30 something pediatrician named Jessie Brewer—when not working together on cases they spend their days in the break room and talk about their personal lives. Of course Steve is too dedicated to have much of one but Jessie’s complicated marriage to Phil Brewer provides more than enough conversation.

Of course Phil Brewer would hate to know that Steve is butting in on his marriage—the young and cocky researcher has little use for the Good Samaritans of the world including his wife Jessie. While he loves her simple nature and sweet behavior, Phil finds it even more useful that being married to Jessie serves as the perfect political salve for when he goes too far. It’s not that Phil’s a bad doctor—in fact he is a genius research doctor who is just starting to get national recognition when he’s not out drinking and bedding prostitutes.

And Phil’s skill has proven to be a money maker not just for the hospital but for the local corporation—ELQ—pharamuticals love creating new money makers. The company’s namesake Edward Quartermaine has no use for the brash doctor but Brewer’s work does provide a tidy profit. The only thing that 40 something Edward loves more than profit is his gentle and refined wife Lila (40s)—and sometimes his two children young medical intern Alan (23) and spoiled dilettante Tracy (21). While Alan is desperate to have his father respect him—wrangling himself an internship under his father’s star Dr. Brewer, Tracy is always trying schemes to get her father’s attention. Most outsiders would say that her spirited but bitchy nature comes from Edward—turns out that Tracy is more like Lila than anyone would guess.

Despite Lila’s blueblood background, she once spent time out in the world and having adventures of her own-- most notably backpacking across Africa with her dear friend—and private school classmate—Helene Hardwick. The two debutants spent their days volunteering with local tribes and using their family connections to raise money for Doctors Without Borders. That sense of community and charity stuck with Lila and when it came time to open a free clinic in the town of Port Charles—due to a PR fiasco with Dr. Brewer and the company—Lila called on her old childhood friend to come oversee the project.

And Helene (40s)—along with her husband Lars Webber (50) and son Jeff (21)—needed a reason to live and hoped that this new project would provide focus. Her marriage hit shaky ground after her oldest son Rick (26) disappeared and was presumed dead while working with Doctors Without Borders in Somalia—something Lars blamed his wife for. Lars has never been one for pipe dreams and unlike his wife, he relished the chance to mix the kind of wealth her “dear old friends” provided instead of rejecting the privileged life like his wife was known to do. Meanwhile third year medical student Jeff mostly felt lost—between his older sister Terri (28) fleeing the family for reasons unknown and his idolized brother being dead—he felt as if his family has forgotten about him in all the fighting and blame games.

But hopefully enlisting in the medical school at Port Charles University, away from ghost of Rick and the absence of Terri, would give Jeff the fresh start he needs. No one who knows him, no one who knows his family—just new faces to meet. Like the young and ambitious Monica Barb (20)—a talented and crafty medical student who despite her background—foster homes and group living—has managed to make her way through the expense of medical school. Monica may be smart but it helps that she has the looks and drive to make people bend to her will—whether it is securing scholarship money from the ELQ trust or using her sex appeal with various professors. She may play the sex card but isn’t selling it like some people in her neighborhood.

Such as Barbara Jean Spencer. Some would call the 15 year old redhead a street waif but she isn’t alone in the world—it’s just her brother Luke (19) is serving time in juvie and her Aunt Ruby (40s) tries to keep their relationship low profile. It’s one thing to run a whorehouse while paying off the mob and the local police but Ruby knew she couldn’t talk her way around raising a teenager in that environment even with friends in “high places”. Instead “Bobbie” lives on her own in an efficiency apartment across the way from Monica Bard and down the hall from her mysterious classmate Michael and his mother Adella—which is good for her now that she is pregnant and hiding it from everyone. If Ruby ever found out that Bobbie was hooking herself on the street like common trash—even if to high end doctors like Phil Brewer--she could get a real beat down.

And being beat down is something Adella (late 30s) knows all about. On the run from her 2nd husband and desperately hiding out with her son Michael (16), Adella hoped that she finally found a chance to escape the violence of her past. She could take it when Deke would hit her but once he went after “Sonny”--for nothing more than not being his son—it was time to find a new home and a new life. And with her make-do job as a custodian at General Hospital she might eventually be able to break free, send her boy to college, maybe get herself a nursing degree and get them both off the streets for good.

If only head nurse Lucille March (late 30s) didn’t seem to dislike her so much… Everyone at the hospital, even new hires like Adella, knew to stay out of the way of the crusty, gossipy and strict Lucille. Some people said it was because she was an old maid—single and in her 40s!!!--and jealous of the young girls chasing doctors but the truth was Lucille had always been this way. No man had ever broke her heart—though there were a couple women who might have—but having to raise her own sister single handled was more than enough to break anyone’s spirit. Audrey March had always marched to her own drum—and being pretty and popular didn’t endear her to Lucille anymore than the rest else had. Her thirst for adventure and capacity for drama had led Audrey in every direction—one minute getting a nursing degree and the next off to see the world as documentarian following medical missions of mercy. Audrey wouldn’t have even come back to Port Charles—she had some many places left to see before she turned 30—but an opportunity to document the test trials of ELQ’s latest wonder drug led her home. Of course she still likes to cause trouble and break the rules—quickly becoming the talk of Lucille, Jessie and even Steve!

And Audrey’s drama goes well beyond break room gossip. Down the official halls of General hospital, Lee Baldwin’s (late 30s) job as the go-to-man for many of the hospital crisis’s runs the gamut from legal issues in patient care all the way to the possible legal problems from a “guerilla style” documentary being shot under his watch. But even through all the fast paced stress of hospital life, the widowed father of two still made time for his children back at home. And while 20 something Brooke Baldwin might shy away from being called a child—she was too mature for that and too willing to prove it—his young son Scotty (17) was more then willing to behave and make home life easy. Scotty desperately wanted to finish high school and start college, follow his dad into the law but Brooke was more interested in finding a hot young doctor to bed and make herself into something more than middle class.

And Brooke would get her wish—getting herself a cushy job as a babysitter for the upper middleclass Vining family. Jason Vining (40) was a professor at the local medical school and held many a study session at the family home—giving Brooke access to many a young doctor—and his charming if gruff exterior made him popular with students like Monica and Jeff. His wife Barbara (late 30s) was another story—she didn’t understand why they need a sultry young babysitter like Brooke around the house—their daughters Laura (15) and Amy (13) were both in their teens. And even if Laura could be moody--constantly running around with Scotty Baldwin--while Amy was no ease to raise; she could always cut back her hours nursing since Jason made enough money. But she always found it easier to accommodate Jason’s moods ever since the accident that took away his ability to practice medicine or even father children--she knew how hard it was for him to connect to her much less their two adopted daughters.

AND SO BEGINS THE STORY.
The Sickness Is In Your Mind

I thought I had spent the last week or so being sick--off and on. I hung out with people who ended up getting sick shortly after seeing me; Edie with bronchitis and Dominic with something that required 3 antibiotics and a steroid. I would say that my fears of a lingering illness were more than well founded.

So I waited.

I hate doctors--or the expense of doctors more than anything. I only went to see one after a text conversation about good places to go without insurance--i was supposed to be seeing babies this weekend and wanted to be healthy before doing that. So off I went to CVS to get a quick check up for a nurse practitioner--prepared for the worst.

Turns out I have sinus allergies. Ones that allowed me to have codeine coffee medicine to sleep at night. That strong I guess

I have never had allergies so this was something knew to me. New drugs, new coping techniques for dealing with things, and the realization that this may be something I have had before and just not known it. Which is weird because I have a huge list of other allergies I am well aware of.

But at least I wasn't sick. Like sick sick or anything. Like gross.

(I fully expect a punch from either Edie or Dominic for this post)
This Is Not A Wedding Blog

This is what I want as my birthday gift to myself



Of course this is obviously expensive and I don't even know what I would do with it but... Since when has any of that stopped me before????

Thanks to Valeska for making sure I knew to buy this