The Empty Bed Itch

Finally the entire Dollhouse is on a day schedule--Johnno is working in an office, Lola is on a day shift with her job and I continue with my 9-5 (ish) madness. We're all still working out the morning routine, how to stay out of each others' way, how much pajamas to wear and the fastest way to get everyone up and going.

So far--so good.

But there is a brief moment every morning where Johnno is out of bed and I am alone with the entire mess for about 5 minutes. And I stretch out over the entire bed--arms, legs, fingers, toes all across the entire setup.

I never used to do this.

I'm not sure what it is about---it is slightly relaxing and may be good for my back. Someone suggested that it was because the bed was too cramped but I have had a lot of men in that bed (that size of bed--not the actual bed--I do change the mattress every couple of guys). This led to a conversation about the difference between sharing a bed when you know the other person has a home and making the bed home for two people. Another one of those "once you live together everything changes".

Does it?

I have actually thought a lot about this recently; between reading about Lucy's plans to move in with her doctor, Lola's ongoing long distance relationship and even just general rumblings from all the couples I know. I guess it is supposed to be a huge game changer and make things more difficult or stressful or complicated. But it doesn't really feel that way--sometimes I wonder if I am doing everything wrong since it has been so simple and quiet and understated.

With the exception of closet space. Seriously.

So in the interest of not creating undue drama I have decided to look at my morning bed acquisition as something positive. That me reclaiming the bed has less to do with "taking back personal space" and more to do with me having it all and wanting to "roll around" in it. And when it comes to explaining how that feels--the living together, not the rolling around in the bed--I am going to explain how it shouldn't feel different when you make that choice. About how the relationship should stay the same with the extra benefit of knowing where someone is at the end of the night.

Now that I think about it--the stretching into his personal space could be about how much I miss Johnno that early in the morning. But that would mean I have changed and am possibly codependent which is not the case and not something I would encourage.

Especially since I would still like to reclaim my closet.