237—227 Plus 10

Jaq’s almost gone.

I have mentioned Jaq from time to time here in the blog. She has always been just a slight touch of the circles on my social Venn diagram—Emerson connected, some common LA friends but most of she ahs been my neighbor for about the ten years.

But now she is moving on.

I cannot help but be more than a bit bummed about this. It’s not like Jaq and I were super close, we didn’t spend every weekend night together, we didn’t do foolishly long email chains or snappy little texts at bars. We would randomly just stumble in and out of each other’s lives—for late night outfit checks, bottles of wine on balmy summer nights, unemployment swims and late night check ins. We would touch base at the most random times-for things like packages or apartment problems but we also would use each other as outside confidants.

This is something I am severely lacking. This is something kind of nice about having people outside of your social day to day to help give perspective and clarity on what is going on. There’s no fear of things being repeated or other agendas being pushed because the only person that either one of us was invested in was in each other.

So we could talk about all the little things you have to let slide when you run in a group—there’s no self censoring and no feeling of obligations. When Jaq and I spent time together it was unexpected and novel and just easy—I felt like I didn’t have to worry.

(This is not to say that I worry all the time with my other friends but sometimes-as with working out, dating, sex, drinking and other odd and ends—you just need a detox for a bit)

And without her (And Naomi. And Ruby. And Chloe) being so close and just a knock away—I can’t help but feel a bit sad. I’ll miss out on having that sounding board. I could use it right now

But I won’t miss out on her cats. Those things were vicious.