A Revelation, Not a Rationalization.

I have spent a lot of time making excuses for others and myself. I had allowed myself to be too easily hurt by accusations instead of facts—I consistently questioned my own behavior instead of trusting my judgment. I wanted to make things simple and happy and civil and respectful.

But then I had a huge turning point this past week. I was upset about things, all sorts of things and just beating myself up. It wasn’t until an unlikely source pointed out the obvious—that I was giving too much credit to someone who didn’t deserve it, nobility to someone being selfish. That I needed someone outside of the situtatution to look at it and say clearly—this is fucked up. He is fucked up. You’re fucked up for accepting any of this.

Her arguments made sense. She is right that I have been so busy with my heads in the clouds, idolizing things and places and people that I have lost any perspective. That I have being making excuses for the things I don’t like instead of just saying—this sucks. You suck. Over this.

It was what I needed to hear. What I need to know.


Thanks Miss Janie