Put On Your Eatin’ Dress.

SO I’m trying to be good. Anyone that was worked on enough productions knows that the craft service table should really be called the ‘we wanna get you so fat you stick in your chair and are unable to leave the office or set with any ease ‘ table but I’ve been really careful.

I get in early and have a small cup of cereal—whatever seems healthiest at the table—with low fat milk. I follow this up with a yogurt later in the morning and then a salad with Diet Coke for lunch and maybe an apple or cheese stick for a mid afternoon snack. I avoid the chips, candy and cookies like a bad ex boyfriend at a party and stay aware that I have cute clothes waiting to be worn.

Where the problem lies is my schedule. I get up at 4:30 in the morning to get to the set by 7 with a combination of long subway rides, walks through scary neighborhoods that I wouldn’t let the said ex walk through. My day ends at 5 and I get home by 6:30-7pm tired and hot so I usually shower and nap for a half hour. I then do social things with the boy or the girls or maybe a party or BBQ.

The problem is the schedule allows for only about 6 hours of sleep a night for 5 or 6 days stretches at a time. So what happens is that to stay awake I prop myself up with food to give me energy. And at night I will eat ANYTHING. I mean things that I swore I would never touch after I gave up being bulimic. It’s ridiculous.

It’s starting to resemble an old Margaret Cho comedy routine about girls who only eat salad in public but get home and putting on their eatin dress and work their way through ice cream, cake and a super sized McDonalds meal because it doesn’t count if no one see you do it. It’s annoying. It’s scary. It tastes so damn good though.

I just don’t want to be fat. Or a living example of stand up comedy.