Fashion Flash

Like Jock-ish But Not Jock Jock

So I am dying over this--it's like all my favorite things in one fell swoop

It's gold, it's Asian, it's sporty, it's kind of butch without being too much... But I don't know if I can buy it. I mean, I give no fucks about baseball much less the Dodgers and yet it is just so awesome, so over-the-top, so very much me that I won't be able to resist it. Like I'm looking at my wallet right now.

I was obviously too exposed to this:

I mean--come one now.

UPDATE:

Of course this hat is sold out everywhere... This is like my thing--the fashion curse that has haunted me for years. #whitepeopleproblems

Thursday Truths

Money Money Money--Or The Things We Never Learn & Never Discuss

So I have an confession to make--money terrifies me. The thought of not having, am I doing the right things with it, how to save it and how to spend it properly. I didn't grow up poor or anything that simple--but with my parents' divorce the biggest of all fights was about money more than us, the pets or the house. I saw both my parents do things that they didn't want or shouldn't have to do in the pursuit of it and it definitely shaped my perspective on it

She Would Be So Proud of My Confession

And when it comes to learning about money and how to best use it as an adult--I think most of us are left in the dark, Sure it is easy to understand how to spend and save from each check--and there are certain things that are non-negotiable like rent, power bills, cell phones and food... But when it comes to the large picture--how much should be spent on what, how to figure and budget for things like health insurance, credit cards and student loans most of us are in the dark

                            If Only Food Shopping Was This Simple-But With Winning

And when it has come to making the big decisions with money I would always hold off rather than take the financial plunge--it wasn't till this year that I even had health insurance and that was because the government forced me too. And because of how I was pushed on it--I was forced to really sit down and look at everything and ask for help from people who knew more than I did. Which was embarrassing because I always just imagined everyone else knew what there were doing while I was just in a holding pattern

I Just Want To Get Health Care And Pay Off My Credit Cards

It's funny because what I learned as I started to look into why I didn't know the basics--it really broke down to the a simple fact. While most other issues like racism, gay rights and women's liberation are becoming better--the biggest issue that America has in spades is classicism. We don't talk openly about money because if we can't manage our money properly then we are not building a better life for ourselves AKA the American Dream. And that makes us feel bad because we assume everyone else is doing so much better than us--which just makes us more worried and concerned about it.

This is How I See Everyone Else Manages Their Finances

The truth is we need a better and more open way to discuss money in this country. I actually think it is foolish that we don't teach our students about the basics of credit card debt, how and why insurance is actually a good investment into one's financial life and how student loan debt can play out long term. I think that we could all benefit from discuss financial management skills--it wasn't until I was in my late twenties that I learned that good money skills included things like how your rent or mortgage should only be on 1/4 of your take home pay. Imagine if more people understood simple things like that--we could have avoided the housing market bubble, the banks almost collapsing and the overall economic turmoil from the last few years.

It's Like this Right? One Big Game of Bubble Bobble

I guess what I'm saying is that when it comes to money--we shouldn't be afraid to talk about. Not just saying--oh I'm broke so no taco Friday this week, but how we all can better understand and manage our financial futures. How it is not about making 20 bucks and saving 5 and spending the rest. It's much more complicated than that--and something we could all learn more about.

Zen moment

This is one of my favorite places in the world--a little coffee shop/restaraunt down by the wharf in San Francisco... This time last week Johnno and I had just returned from the city-after a morning here of Irish coffees and conversation-just enjoying the city and each other.

It's always important to remember these places exist if only to remind yourself there are places to relax and recharge.

Just because

Sometimes I forget that I am one of the luckiest people in the world... He loves me so I must be doing something right in the grand scheme of things. And how dashing do we look at the White Party--I mean we're so bougie--its like an episode of TV

Nate Archibald-No Fucks Were Given With This Outfit

Moment of Zen

This is romance...

This picture of Louis Armstrong and his wife in Ciaro is one of the most romantic and awe inspiring pictures of all time. One of my life. Goals is to recreate my own version of this with the Husbear some day.

When they get down with gays and white people.

Life Hack

Giftie Gift Gift Me

Okay--due to timing as well as just the general idea of it--there is no way this post is not coming to come off as selfish... When Johnno and I were planning our wedding we were looking into all the gift registry stuff--which I had a background in for when I worked for an upscale furniture store back in the day.

You Didn't Thing I Was Always This Fabulous and Spoiled?

Having a background in dealing with the bridal registry stuff was a huge help but annoying--you have all the housewares you need when you leave together but you can upgrade if needed--but what about unique things like art prints or off beat pillows or handcrafted stuff... You cant add that to the usual registry...

This Quasi-hipster Shizz Doesn't Just happen--Not In My House

So then I found myregistry.com. It's similar to Pinterest in that you download a "pin" type app to your internet program--and when you find something you like you just click on the "pin", pick the color or size as needed, then it shows up on your registry in all one place. It allowed up to find items from Etsy, Art.com, Urban, Macy's, Imagination Foundation and place them on one master list--plus you can sync other store's registries on to the same list so you can still get Macy's, Bed Bath and Beyond and Z Gallerie into the mix.



I love this site/idea because now I can keep a year round gift list for myself--and I encourage the husband and close friends to do the same.... Now I dont have to look when I want to snap something up for a birthday or anniversary or just because--it's all there. And now there's no more this:

Fashion Files

Watch Out

I have been spending the last two seasons obsessed with watches--they are the one mens accessory that never goes out of style and can never make you look to over done. While bracelets, rings and chains can be fun--there is always the risk of looking too over styled.

 It's not what are they wearing--but what arent they wearing?

No one wants to look like a drunk Aunt Mame--at least not in their day to day wear. And with guys it is too easy to cross the line from stylish to homeless but the right watch can be fun, clean and stylish all at the same time. The other reason I love a good watch is even though we all carry clocks in our phone--how many times have you pulled out your phone and ended up getting sucked into your mail, wikipedia or the latest version of angry birds. And let's be honest--once you do it everyone you're with does it and then it becomes this:

The worst part is they're all tagging each other on Facebook

So I found having a watch prevented me from making that social mistake and kept my phone in my pocket... Which is something I think most people could benefit from. And there is something romantic and classy about a watch; it's old fashioned even when the watch is the latest style or something handed down in the family. And they all breakdown into three kinds of watch--the day to day, the fun time, and the conversational piece.

These are mine

This one is clean and easy--the white makes it modern for day to day but still unique

This is the fun watch--the band is a former mens' tie but still colorful enough to catch the eye

This is a true conversational piece--a turn table on the wrist always gets compliments.

Now the key with finding and wearing multiple watches is to start with a simple day to day--and once you have the standard locked down you can go off the reservation. For me, the way to keep the day to day from looking too old fashioned or the company timepiece is to look for either unusual colors or materials.

For day to day wear these are two of my favorites--the top number is from Urban Outfitters and it's clear to almost nude look makes it so mininalist look makes it clean, easy to wear and still an eye catcher! This would work with fun t-shirts as well as a three piece Gucci suit.

The second watch--from ASOS.com is one hand (ha!) classic with it's rose gold clock face but the woven bracelet is great for the type of guy who likes to look a little more bohemian with a twist of preppy. This is the type of watch you can mix on the same wrist with a simple metallic bracelet or other woven summer camp wrist wear.

Now for fun all three of these numbers come from ASOS and show the various way you can really play with watches. The first number with it's simple yet humorous writing can be fun out on the town or just running errands--even if you miss the last call. The second number with it's Fisherman's Face on the clock face is both fun and a conversational piece--who doesnt want to know the story of why that watch? Is he a romantic, world-weary former sailor? Does he like Moby Dick and thinks this is a great reminder? Is this the set up for a Hemingway tattoo? And the third watch is just a great pop of color--which comes in different shades. This one would match my eyes-and be striking from a distance whether on a date or in the workplace.


And finally-the conversation piece

Both these numbers are from Urban Outfitters and really just grab the attention. The top watch looks to be the conventional wristwatch except it is made completely out of wood--sans the clock face--and comes in two different stains. This is the type of watch I would buy myself and wear everywhere except the office--it could be a bit too much there--but it is a blend of classic and whimsy--the type of watch that goes from Burning Man to vegan dining to the beach with ease. And the second watch reminds me of the classic apple Iphone look--clean, well shaped and easy to read. The wood clockface keeps it from feeling too cold and distant but it looks like something you would find on the waitstaff at Intelligista Cafe or in Abbot Kinney on a shopping spree. Just eye popping.

But these are just some suggestions to get you started when it comes to watches--what is out there now--so you can start to look into your own little time piece. Something that looks stylish and keeps you from being too rude with the phone.

It's a good thing

(I have no business relationship with any of the websites or manufactures within the post. I just like their shit)

Friday Jams

Daphne Guinness for the win... 

SHOWstudio: Evening In Space - Daphne Guinness / David LaChapelle / Tony Visconti from SHOWstudio on Vimeo.

Edie sent me this video on kind of a lark--she is obsessed slightly with Daphne Guinness and might even be her idol if she were to have such a thing. Now here's the back story of Daphne--she is the heiress to the Guinness fortune, one of the world's largest patrons to the arts and was the muse and close friend of the late Alexander McQueen. Her closet is one of the world's premiere fashion treasure troves--she is Lady Gaga if she grew up with money and expensive boarding schools.

So you might assume I am just obsessed with the styling and fashion in this video--I mean that closet mixed with David LaChapelle on it's own is pretty Rory porn--but I also like the sound of the video. She reminds me of Nico with that husky voice and odd pronunciation when she sings--it makes me want to go and re-listen to all my Velvet Underground albums.

She just needs a better song itself.

Moment of Zen

Just For A Laugh--Until They Cross The Line

Just watch this and try to guess exactly where it goes wrong. Because it's pretty much straight out the gate.

I MEAN THIS HAPPENED--THEY SAID THOSE THINGS. I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT

I'm just in shock--I'm sorry to do this to you but I am overwhelmed by this. I mean... 

Life Hack

How to Get Some Good Head--Good Head of Hair

I do not wash my hair everyday--I find that it can overly strip my hair of shine and texture--and since I am blessed to not have an oil scalp I can get away with this. That said--there is one tip that I learned about how to keep your hair shiny everyday without washing and I got it from the usual sources:

Of course it was Soap Opera Weekly--I learned the tip at 12 years old

Even at a young age I had hair idols--people with thick, glowing, luxe hair that made me jealous. I wanted to look that dewy, clean and shiny--I later found out in college that this wasn't as unusual a trait to have even if I was a teenage boy living in the suburban wildness of upstate New England. Turns out I knew more than a handful of people who had their own hair idols:

David Cassidy--I loved the Partridge Family in reruns

You know Dr Quinn and Sully had beautiful hair model babies

But my number one idol was Finola Hughes AKA world class spy, police commissioner, mother and frequent love triangle participant.

Even with her fake scar as self punishment for being a double agent--her hair was amazing

So when she did an interview for Soap Opera Weekly and gave her daily hair tip I was all over it. And honestly--this works so well that I have been doing this treatment daily for the past 20 years. I'm gonna spill my secret if only because I just want prettier people in the world.

Hughes Hair Hotness:
Step One: You wash your hair only 3 times a week unless it gets sweaty and greasy from either working out or running from mobsters, evil spies or former lovers

Step Two: Everyday you work in a small amount of conditioner through your locks and leave it on for 3 to 5 minutes regardless of whether you washed you hair. This helps with softness as well being manageable for up dos, side ponytails or a quick hair flip mid conversation.

Step Three: Everyday before you get out of the shower, turn the water to ice cold before rinsing it out. This helps close the hair follicles and keeps them healthy and protected--this is best done by bending over in the shower to prevent the cold water from causing you to freeze. It also helps with closing up the pores on your face as well--giving you even and porcelain skin.

I spent a lot of time also worshiping this girl as well.

It's really the Melrose Place electric guitar that makes it work

Inpsiration Monday

The Magi Goes Postal

So this was an idea that started by accident last year--I have a habit of window shopping and posting random things I want to social media without any real reason. (Though I guess I secretly hope that my husband picks up the hint--such a lady that way.) There's no real rhyme or reason to my thought process--it can be a simple t-shirt of Ryan Gosling found via Etsy:

Honestly This Is One of the Saner Options

Then one day I got a mysterious package at the Dollhouse with just a present and no note. I was kind of freaked out by this--did I order the item drunk? Or worse--did I order something and just plan forget? Had my shopping gone too far? And it didn't help that the item in question I had posted about after watching an episode of "Girls" which was already a problem within itself.

Go ahead--I deserve it for watching that mess

It also brought back a reminder of the one time I was borderline stalked and threatened through my blog years ago--to the point where I had stopped writing and changed a lot of the format, my email address and took down a lot of my posts and freelance publishings. I just couldnt figure it out--who would send me this

It's a reusable bag for shopping--and gayer than anything

After a series of tweets, FB posts and random emails I found out that Johnno's friend Andie had seen the post and just bought it for me because she could. Once we were able to talk about it--she told that for years she and her friends had been randomly sending each other anonymous gifts to surprise each other. They did this just because they thought it was nice and weird and something easy to do to make each other smile.

Since then I have been doing this from time to time--some people have gotten puppy posters, others inflatable swans for their pools, others random tacky t-shirts. There is something nice and fun about gifting without reason--something that cheers up another person even as it freaks them out. I made one person think they had a secret admirer which was a bit of a let down when I revealed myself but for the most part its been really great.

So if you're looking for something fun to do, something to inspire some kindness and wonderment for other people then try this hobby... I never spend more than 10 dollars--and it can be as simple as sending a Starbucks card in the mail or burning a mix CD of the best b-sides of their favorite artist.

I mean--someone sent me this soundtrack which is proof you can do anything with this!!!

The key is to have fun and just make someone smile!!! And hopefully get other people to do the same which is the best gifting going forward-it's like "Pay It Forward" without the bad script, acting or Kevin Spacey

Moment of Zen

Very Much My Moment of Zen Today

Inspiration Monday

A Little Bit of Time Away

So this time last week I was sitting around a bonfire on the banks of the St Croix river with Johnno, Edie, Edward, Bella, Valeska and a handful of new friends as we wrapped out the party weekend. It was chilly and we passed around a bottle of whiskey, some smores and just talked about random things...

We Sang Kumba

I already wrote about how I feel about vacations--I dont ever really take them because I am of the belief that my world will fall apart if I'm not here to over manage every part. Within hours of being back to work I was stressed and overwhelmed by random projects and my own expectations which wasnt what I wanted but what I allowed to let happen.

It wasnt until later when I was looking for a screen grab of some email I took that I found a slew of pictures I had taken while on the trip. Now usually I am bad at that--I have never been one to be so sentimental about things and cameras make my uncomfortable. But looking at the pictures it took me back to my trip and into that healthier and better head space.

And what I came to realize is that I need to take more pictures; of the people, places and things that make me happy. Not just of vacations or special events--though I have yet to sort my wedding photos--but of the smaller moments. Being out with friends, a special cup of coffee, the random outfits I like. I need to learn from my co-worker Jenna who documents everything just so that I can hold on to those time and spaces.

So in that vein--here are random pictures from my trip. I didnt take many with other people--the party has a rule about nudity and drinking shots being forbidden--but of the place so that when I need to relax I can look back over them and remember how it felt to be so out of the loop and into something comfortable.

The cabin itself

the country quilt i slept with on the floor

the beach outside the house yet to be ravaged.

the dance shack before it busted up my feet as we whirled away

the party raft AKA where Johnno almost drowned

the beach at night

the highlight-pun intended-of country living

the end of it all.

Fashion Flash

It's so White People Problems

While writing another post I came across this picture of Truman Capote--and all I could think was how yuppie white prep school is this look? Which is really shorthand for I will be stealing this idea as soon as the weather drops to realistic temperatures which means hopefully January. Except I think I will kill the beret--I'm not that gay or rich.

Like it is cold out but too cold to sacrifice fashion for a coat so lets just double layer the sweater. Hoe does this? It's the gay version of Ali McGraw in "Love Story"-fashion means never having to say your sorry.

Friday Jams

Bang Bang with Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj

I know the song is new and was leaked while I was gone to Minnesota so I'm late to the game. I honestly only learned about the song via Jackee Harry's twitter account--which I highly suggest following because my God does she make me laugh and loves to interact with her fans.

Plus there is this:



Distractions aside--I'm totally feeling this song and I like all the parties involved even if Jessie J drives people to drink... That said-there is no video for this yet so enjoy the lyric video... So helpful whenever it comes to Nicki Minaj in general:



Like Jackee said--it's kind of like the new Lady Marmalade. Honestly.